•always have bottled water in your house/apartment
•pay your bills on time
•wash your dishes everyday
•don’t tell anyone you don’t trust you live alone
•call your mom and tell her you love her
•make sure you have extra toilet paper
•remember to close the curtains when changing
•lock all the windows and doors at night/before leaving the house
•double check that the stove is off
•don’t leave lights on too much
•use real plates instead of throwaways
•have flashlights in every room
•fruits and veggies are important
•night lights aren’t just for babies and kids
•electric and water bill are more important than cable
•don’t eat out too much
•do your laundry
•it’s okay to ask for help
•own at least two recipe books
•never lock yourself out
•but don’t hide a spare under a mat/plant
•don’t open the door without knowing who it is
•mop
•wash your bed spread a lot
•make sure you always have food in the fridge
•if you feel unsafe call someone
•candy/snacks are not meals
Im judging anyone that is an adult and seriously needed these reminders
Not to be rude but this can be aimed at teens so they know what to be prepared for or for adults who are about to move out. The important thing is learning it sooner rather than later.
Or it could just be a self care reminder for people who don’t properly care for themselves due to depression or extreme anxiety.
So Scientology has recently been purchasing ad spots on social media sites including Twitter and Facebook. Scientology has always worked hard to recruit young people it seems like they’re investing in social media as well now. I know most people think Scientology is a joke but it’s a seriously dangerous cult which uses fear, extortion, violence, vandalism and various other unethical actions against those who oppose them both inside and outside the church. Here is key information on the abuses committed by Scientology:
•Scientology uses a form of pseudo-therapy called auditing which focuses largely on embarrassing and traumatic memories. Scientology collects the information you share and uses that information to threaten you if you oppose the church. They also charge huge amounts of money for auditing sessions (which is why they really are doing all this).
•They are extremely anti-psychology and psychiatry and pressure you against taking any antidepressants, anti-anxiety medication or any other drugs for mental health.
•They believe homosexuality can be “cured” and are blatantly homophobic. •Enemies of the church are labeled “suppressive persons” and it is forbidden to communicate with such people. This isn’t just to limit the negative press they receive but also is a manipulative tool. If you are in the cult and decide to leave or criticize the church you stand the risk of being completely cut off from your friends and family. “Suppressive Persons” are often also harassed, stalked, or threatened.
•If you’re new to Scientology and your family or friends are worried about you being in a cult you’re instructed to cut them out of your life, increasing your reliance on the support system (though there’s nothing supportive about it) the church give to you.
•Scientology’s doctrine includes the concept of “Fair Game”. This basically says that those who are judged a threat to the Church can be punished and harassed by any and all means possible.
•Because of this, they have no moral qualms about having their members lie in court which they use to defend themselves from lawsuits or charges that they’ve broken the law and also to help win lawsuits against their enemies. •They essentially spied on and stole information from the IRS and tried to frame the mayor of Clearwater Florida for a hit and run.
•Scientology filed 50 different lawsuits in one year against the Cult Awareness Network, an anti-cult organization. Using false testimony they won one of the suits and because the organization couldn’t pay the fine Scientology took the organizations name and logo so if you were calling to get out of Scientology you’d be unknowingly telling Scientology of your intentions. (For full transparency my mom was a member of the Cult Awareness Network before it was taken over and was sued individually by the Church of Scientology)
•Scientology has an official branch known as the Sea Org, a mixture between a paramilitary group and slavery, comprised of their most dedicated members including many children/teens who’ve been raised in Scientology. This is where some of the most rampant and terrifying abuse in Scientology occurs.
•Sea Org members often work over 100 hours a week for Scientology for around 2$ per hour.
•Sea Org member’s living conditions are terrible; they live in overcrowded communal rooms with up to 12 other people, are not given healthcare unless there is a free clinic in the area, often are forced to miss meals or sleep in order to successfully completed their work.
•Several former Sea Org members have accused the church of physical abuse. •Sea Org members may not have children and women who have become pregnant have reportedly been forced/coerced by their higher-ups to have abortions.
•Leaving Sea Org without permission automatically makes you a suppressive person, so young adults who’ve been raised in Scientology who want to leave are cut off from everyone they’ve ever known with no money or job and getting permission to leave can require 3 years of hard labor, social isolation, and group pressure.
it’s one of the scariest “religions” you’ll ever meet if not THE scariest because it was PURPOSELY created to make money. unlike most cults that do have some seed of genuine belief however twisted and off base the founders are, scientology was never a belief system - it was a get rich quick scheme for a terrible hack author who saw that there was more money to be made in manipulating people into a cult and then not letting them leave. higher and higher levels of scientology, which you have to take to be truly “clear” aka free of evil spirits, will cost you thousands and even millions of dollars. they will literally hook you into a billion year contract and then pursue you for any money you “owe” them, thousands of “back fees” for their religious training, if you try to leave.
stay the fuck away from anything marked scientology or dianetics. narconon (NOT the same as narcotics anonymous, the 12 step program) is also their thing. never even step FOOT into one of their free dianetics “auditing sessions” because they will use it to manipulate you into joining. they are incredibly persistent and will use every trick in the book to get you on board.
scientology: not even once.
Off the top of my head, a non-exhaustive list of “Brand Names” used by Scientology:
Narconon
Dianetics
Associate of Better Living and Education (ABLE)
Criminon
Applied Scholastics
Delphi Schools
The Way to Happiness Foundation
Author Service Inc.
Bridge Publications Inc.
Golden Era Productions
New Era Publications
Citizens Commission on Human Rights
The National Commission on Law Enforcement and Social Justice
Do not join any of the organizations. Do not work with them. Do not use their materials. Do not give them your money. Do not sign any documents.
^^^^
I can add nothing to this post except to say that this is true. I’ve crossed paths with these people several times. It’s a fascinating and terrible psychological control.
Took notes on Scientology from a public speaker and regrettably this is very true, based on the research done afterwards. But I think the obvious tell is the fact that the speaker began by explaining for 20 minutes straight about how “Scientology is not evil. It’s not a cult. People are just wrong and stupid.” Anyway if you have to preface your speech with a multitude of reasons why people shouldn’t think your belief system is god awful, then you may have a problem.
I fucking heard a commerical for them on a fairly popular radio station and am absolute appalled
I’ve heard them, too, and they’ve set up their own TV channel as well.
Particular PSA for the Tumblr crowd as I know there’s a lot of creators on here: They’re also behind the “Writers of the Future” and “Illustrators of the Future” contests, which are run by “Author Services Inc” and “Galaxy Press” so beware of those if you’re looking to submit anything to contests
(legitimate trigger warning for suicide threats and the like)
in a small departure from our usual content, we wanted to just give our followers a heads up in case any of you ever happen to deal with “autumn anon” – aka
yellowninjaleopard. the only reason we found it relevant to do so is because we’ve noticed her targeting other blogs now, and we fear for what will come of the kindness of those bloggers (particularly if they happen to be young and ill equipped to deal with emotional blackmail).
this should go without saying, but don’t harass autumn anon. don’t be a dick. just ignore, or at the very least be wary. it seems that autumn anon is a girl in her teens, so please take that into consideration.
we’ve dubbed her “autumn anon” because she constantly spams us with asks about her oc, autumn (and occasionally, her oc, jasmine). as she was on anon, we made a public post asking her kindly to stop spamming our inbox, which you can see here. as a result, we received a disproportionate response, in which she tried to guilt trip us. we’ve tried blocking her over and over and over, but she finds a way to evade our blocks and continues her crusade on our inbox.
here’s a very small glimpse of some of the asks we’ve received from her since those previously linked posts:
beyond that, she keeps coming to my streams to harass me and anyone else just trying to watch in peace.
she constantly makes new guest accounts to evade bans.
we convinced her to make a tumblr account so that she could post to her blog instead of spamming us, but she just did both instead.
we tried ignoring her for months, then we asked her to stop, then we started an open dialogue hoping to convince her to stop, and nothing worked. now we are back to trying to ignore her, and it’s at the point where we’re receiving stuff like this for not responding:
autumn anon (aka yellowninjaleopard aka leah) also does this thing where she rps having a twin sister called laura. laura is her excuse to be malicious and cruel to people while taking zero responsibility, saying everything is laura’s fault.
also, she’s threatening to make a murder-suicide pact with her alter ego “laura.”
i wish i was kidding.
so we thought if we just ignored her for long enough, she’d go away, but things are progressively getting worse and worse.
she told us about her youtube conversations, which proved she’s been harassing someone who hasn’t responded to her for at least eight months. eight months. she claimed she was this person’s best friend because they rp’d in youtube comments sometimes. that person has since vanished off youtube and no longer uploads videos.
it’s bad enough that autumn anon is still uploading videos asking about the “best friend” in the descriptions.
may 13, 2018.
normally we wouldn’t care too much what a teenager does with her spare time, but to say autumn anon is persistent would be an understatement. she lies, she guilt trips, she manipulates.
she threatens to kill herself if you don’t reply to her.
if you refuse to accommodate her, she’ll accuse you of putting her in the hospital because of “stress fever.”
if you ignore her for any length of time, she’ll repeatedly send messages which get progressively more distressing. what we’ve shown above barely scratches the surface.
we were going to keep this all to ourselves, until we noticed that she has started contacting other content creators. we’re concerned she will contact people who are susceptible to emotional manipulation or suicide mentions.
nobody deserves to have this kind of stuff thrown in their face over and over.
what you choose to do with this information is ultimately up to you. just be wary, and don’t give in to her threats and the fact that she holds herself hostage. this is manipulation. this is cruel. this is completely without any justification.
Hey, I hope everyone who doxxed RizzyDraws and reported him to his government for being gay fucking dies.
You have put a mans life in extreme danger, possibly condemned him to death, because you couldn’t handle him telling the truth about his situation, that being that he cant celebrate pride because his fellow countrymen will kill him.
FOR THIS PICTURE
YOU HAVE PROBABLY KILLED HIM!
So yeah, I hope you fucking DIE, because you had no problem condemning a gay man to death for speaking out about the threats to his life!
the full comic which got him doxxed and reported.
May God have mercy on your souls for what you have done.
I hope he’s okay :(
According to updates from a family friend he’s now in the hospital because he drunk enough housecleaner to damage his organs and its likely he’s not going to survive.
He’s made a serious and likely successful suicide attempt.
Alright you guys, ‘tis the season again and I’ve already seen bullshit float about so here we go: what to do and what not to do when you happen to have a tick attached to yours truly.
WHAT NOT TO DO:
DON’T cover the tick in anything. Vaseline, nailpolish, whatever. Doesn’t matter. It’ll all suffocate the tick, making it panic vomit germs into your blood stream. That’s the opposite of what you want.
DON’T burn the tick. Same problem, plus the additional option of giving yourself a burn wound in the process.
DON’T squeeze the body of the tick when you try to remove it. Again this empties the tick’s digestive system into your body. Bad.
DON’T wait for the tick to detach itself. The longer it stays on you, the higher the chances it’ll transmit anything to you. Plus when ti detaches it may again vomit germs into you.
WHAT TO ACTUALLY DO
STAY CALM. A tick hanging on you is not a reason to panick. You’re not going to keel over just like that, and if you’re unsure what to do, there are many resources on the internet on how to safely remove a tick, like this one from the CDC (aka the professionals)
USE APPROPRIATE TOOLS. These can be suitable tweezers (the pointy kind, not blunt tipped ones), tick removers (there are cheap ones out there, those you can buy at the vets are totally fine for use on humans, too!). Ideally you can remove the entire tick in one go, however if that doesn’t work and the mouth part breaks off in your skin, that’s not a terribly big deal and you can totally remove it separately after you got the body remove. Again, don’t panic.
KILL THE REMOVED TICK. But not by squeezing it. Flush it down the toilet, submerse it in alcohol in a container etc. Ideally if the tick has bitten you and not your dog, keep the tick around in a sealed container in case you start having symptoms and someone needs to identify the tick species. Also IF you start getting symptoms like the tell tale Lyme disease rash, HIT A DOCTOR RIGHT AWAY AND TELL THEM ABOUT YOUR TICK BITE. Do not wait this out, ticks can transmit a whole host of diseases beside Lyme, so be mindful of that, too!
Some of those diseases you can actually get vaccinated again, such as tick born encephalitis. Check with the local authorities if you live in a risk area, and if so, get the shots to protect yourself.
Excellent post! I would like to add that ticks hide in tall grass and bushes mostly. They do not drop down from trees or jump to other people’s heads etc. Ticks aren’t designed to jump, they latch on somewhere on your leg and then crawl upwards in most cases.
So be careful with bare legs and tall grass!
Ticks will crawl from the cuffs of your jeans all the way up to your hair, where they cannot be seen, and nor could a bite rash be seen (ask me how I know HAHA).
If you walk through an area that may have ticks for any length of time, check yourself for them! Especially after you get home. Strip down, check your whole body, even your belly button, armpits, between toes, behind ears and ESPECIALLY YOUR HAIR. Long hair in particular is beloved. Comb all the hair, and check your scalp. Deer ticks are tiny. Wood ticks are just under the size of a pencil eraser and can easily be felt.
I just spoke with a friend who also contracted Lyme’s disease as a kid and it’s no “yeah I guess that’s bad?” disease. Chronic untreated Lymes can lead to crippling arthritis and lifelong psychological issues and doctors are just starting to take it seriously.
CHECK YOURSELF FOR TICKS. IF YOU LIVE IN AN AREA WITH DEER TICKS GET TESTED FOR LYMES IF YOU SUSPECT ONE BIT YOU.
So this is deffo different from what I learned growing up in the woods! Read it all, friends!
I will post this list the first of each month. when reblogging please check the upper right to make sure you are doing so as text and not as a link in order to make sure people see the whole list. If you despise me so much you cannot reblog it from me, feel free to copy and paste it. No need to give me credit, the information spreading is more important.
As always if in an emergency situation call your local emergency lines, such as 911 in the US.
Crisis Text Line: Text “Start” to 741-741 to be connected to a counselor. (thanks to drunk-cottoncandy adding this)
For members of the US Military. Please make use of Military One Source. They keep the information private from your chain of command and can provide therapy sessions and even relationship counseling.
If you would like to add to this list when you reblog feel free to do so. I will try to include people additions along with credit each subsequent month.
Since joining Tumblr, I’ve met a lot of young queer people. Look, I’m a bisexual man in a gay relationship, and I’m approaching 30. I was still a kid when Matthew Shepard’s story was being covered on the news. I remember thinking, “I better keep my mouth shut about these feelings I’m having.”
And then I met Dominic when I was 12, and people could see how in love we were. And we got the shit beat out of us. The year I met him, some kids in the grade above me held me down against the bleachers in our gym and stomped on my hand until my fingers broke. Instead of sending me to the nurse, the teacher sent me to the assistant principal to explain the situation. She asked why the kids had beat me up. I said, “They were calling me gay.”
Her response was, “Well, are you?”
My, “I don’t know,” earned a call to my parents, and I was outed. Efforts were made to keep me from seeing Dom. Throughout high school, Dom’s stepmother intensified these efforts. He slept in the basement of the house. Although he was an incredibly talented student, he was prohibited from participating in any extracurriculars. He suffered a lot of physical abuse during those years.
The day he turned 18, he packed up everything he had and walked to my house, and we’ve lived together ever since. Things are better, but they’re not perfect. I’ve had trucks pull up next to me at stoplights and, seeing the pride sticker on my car, through old drinks and garbage into my window. I no longer speak to my dad’s side of the family. I haven’t been to see them for Christmas or Thanksgiving in years. One of my uncles had cornered me at Thanksgiving when I was 17 and said, “I’m not going to judge you, but I’d be happy to break your neck so God can do the judging a little sooner.”
I joined a support group for trans and intersex people. When I joined, 40 people attended regularly. Within the year, the group was half the size it had been. Some couldn’t make it anymore, because they were staying at the shelter, where their stay hinged on them agreeing to instead to attend homophobic sermons. Some were put in correctional therapy. Five of them died. Three of those, I didn’t know, but I knew Alex, the 19 year old who was fag-dragged in Kentucky and died a day later in the hospital, and I knew Stephanie, who went home to Alabama to care for her mom in hospice and was beaten to death with a baseball bat by her mom’s boyfriend.
Tumblr is not reality. The dynamic here does not reflect the dynamic out there. Here’s the part where I finally make a point, and it might be extremely unpopular - but guys, value your allies.Value each other. We are met with enough hate in our daily lives to enter an online safe-space and meet more hate from our own, over petty things. Don’t go after one another over every little thing you find problematic.
Learn to see nuance. Maybe the word “queer” bothers you, and you see a gay man using it as an umbrella term. Maybe someone called a trans man a trans woman because they’re confused about terminology, but the post where they did it was voicing support for the trans community. Maybe someone is just asking a question, wanting to learn more. Stop. Attacking. These. People.
Allies are being driven away. Members of our own community are being ostracized. Others are feeling nervous and estranged, and it’s largely because of places like Tumblr, where the social justice movement is quickly becoming violent and radical. I am begging you, stop nitpicking “problematic” things and start directing your efforts to create real change. When it comes to comes to your allies, forget the “social justice warrior” mentality and put down your torch. Educate calmly. Be respectful. Be understanding. Be forgiving. And I’m certainly not saying that your anger doesn’t have a good place - when you are met with bigots on the street, congress members who want to pass hateful laws, violent protesters, abusive parents, prejudiced teachers, that is when you need to be a warrior. That’s when it counts. In the real world. When you have the opportunity to protect people from real harm. Attacking your would-be allies via anonymous asks is just going to lose us ground in the long run. And we don’t have time for that, not when trans women of color are being murdered every day, not when states are still fighting against marriage equality, not when there are politicians in office who believe that trans people are possessed by demons, not when we’ve just lost 50 brothers and sisters to one gunman, not when the media won’t even admit that the attack was homophobic.
Please step back. Look at the big picture. Look at where we are, globally. Don’t just log on to your safe space and attack your allies over small missteps. That’s like washing the dishes in a house that’s on fire, kids. Let’s fight on the battlefield, and when we come home to each other, let’s just focus on bandaging up our wounds so we can go out and win the war.
Signal boost to this unbelievably important message.
I’d reblog this a thousand times if I could.
Stop attacking allies. Educate. Not hate.
This is incredibly important. Please read!
Educate calmly. Be respectful. Be understanding. Be forgiving.
So now that the infos are more or less known from the beta, i suppose i can speak out and give some more (personnal)
information :)
I wish i could have done it before, but i just could not.
First of all,
a topic that quite bugs me is the “I wasted X years of my life for this”?
You
know it’s a game right ? It’s awesome you care so much for it, but didn’t you know it woud end someday ? Do you consider
every game, book, movie that you finished like wasted time ? o_o
My
candy love could have stopped at the episode 40 and that’s it, end of the story. But we are lucky to be able to continue in this universe with University
Life, which is like a new season. It’s different, yes, but still connected.
(you could also compare this to Marvel who has done dozens of versions of their stories/characters. Yet Spiderman is always named Spiderman. There are been lots and lots of them, like bladewitch too because i’m not just talking about the movies or most famous ones here. )
Secondly, I
said to trust us, yes, but i didn’t say i was going to make your every
whishes. I still take you in consideration but i also took myself in consideration and did what i think is best, even if it’s hard to accept at
first. I get it.
Just a reminder that it is impossible to do
everyone’s wish. Just take as an exemple the fact that so many people
wanted to flirt with a teacher, and now that it is possible, the other
side is outraged that it is even possible.
Or another
exemple, the sooo many rants in the past when i did the characters
redesigns. I’m sure by now that if we would put back the very first
designs, you would be all screaming in pain. But at that time, it was
like the worst decision ever for you.
So to make it clear, i am happy with the choices i made. And even if I
can sincerely understand your sadness, i won’t change my mind about it, and the planned characters and scenario won’t change either. Then, in or out, it’s your choice.
Now, how, why did this happen ?
What you must keep in mind is that we (the creative team) work for a business.
We
have counts to give to our bosses, deadlines to respect, and also
access to numbers and stats that you don’t know about
that might affect our choices/work. ( and those stats can actually be very different from the expressed
wishes and points of view of the active fandom, because lots of players
are also silent players.)
This brings us to the first topic !
First
thing to know is that to maintain good delays for everyone and every
country, (because as you saw we have episodes coming out on a regular
basis by now) we have to follow strict rules of production.
This is
not totally new but still: we have a number of words allowed per episode
that we can not go over, and less than 2monthes to produce and test
everything. So yeah, it’s a bit sad in some way, but totally
understandable, if we did not do that, the game could not go on.
So
to keep the best quality, this is also why we can’t handle more than 5
routes. (and this is also why last episodes on High school life seem
shorter when you are on one guy’s route, as it is like 5 little episodes
in one.)
I’m not totally sure i am allowed to share
those production informations, but it’s not just some friends playing
around,snapping fingers and bam an episode. So i wanted you to know that
:)
This brings us to the next topic, the crushes gone in Campus Life ?
Yes they are. At
first it was a decision strongly suggested by our bosses. And i was sooo against
it, i was like “they will be so mad, it’s a dangerous move”, but
apart from wanting to preserve you, i didn’t have any other reasons not to
do so. In the end, the idea really grew up on me, and i totally agree with it.
So here we are.
Yeah I’ll cherish the past characters and will miss them but a breath of fresh air will be great,
and i’m really happy to be able to play along with new characters.
Also I
wanted that 4 years gap, because i wanted the characters to have grown
and develop on their own for some time.
Let’s move on.
Why I chose to keep Castiel ?
Well, let’s be honest about that, Castiel has always been the main favorite, and
by far. Just like pokemon, there are thousands of them but Pikachu still remains special. Anyway,
if you are good at maths, you’ll have noticed that i said we are doing 5
routes, and you only know about 4 so far, so yeah, there is someone i
still wish to torture some more too hurr hurr. And i think he will be my
favotire for UL.
One last thing to clear out.
As I said
we work for a business and our bosses, but even if we have some rules
to follow, i am not complaining. We are very lucky to be free in our
creation process, they dont mingle in our story and scenarios, and i
really think we are very very lucky about that.
This
is
how you can have a Priya route ( which would have been impossible if we kept all
the old crushes too by the way). They were a bit worried that a lesbian
route wouldn’t draw enough players as just another guy’s route, but they
still
let us do without interfering. (Show them we were right ! ;) )
I think this is all by now !
If you
keep on with University Life, i hope you will enjoy your new adventure, and i
will always be lurking around to see your reactions ;)
If you
prefer to quit because you are too
disillusioned, well i am sad to hear it, but it’s ok. No one is
forcing you to play, and thank you so much for being part of this great
community until there.
Kisses and take care everyone ♥
One
last thing, I knew we would have drama whatever we did or announce, so i am quite prepared and chill about it.
But, I will blacklist anyone harassing me, sending me hate
messages, insults, long rants directly to me or whatever of the kind
without a second thought. I dont have time for this.
So… Here we go. Thank you for answering this, Chinomiko.
I think… I still would’ve chosen for it to end and and have a full new spin-off versus knowing my Candy can no longer be with them when she was. Like it just… doesn’t feel like a continuation or a sequel if all the original love interests aren’t there (Great for those who went with Castiel, but not so much for the rest of us). Like maybe have Priya as a dating option still, but being the only character to make a return as we know she travels a lot anyway.
I feel bad you guys only have two months though… I wish the company was more adaptive on that? I feel like more time would just be better and if people got small updates, people wouldn’t get impatient anyway.
But yeah, thank you for the information…
I don’t know if I will still play or not, but… I’m happy to know.
Ever since the Presidential Election results came in, there’s been post after post of people spreading around the phone number for a supposed suicide hotline for trans people, called Trans Lifeline.
What people don’t know is that this “hotline” is a huge scam meant to fund the founders’ personal lives, and that the hotline barely answers their calls, if ever.
A twitter was made a while back to cover the small, almost nonexistent amount of operators on the line, but it is now inoperable because the founders found out and shut down the source of the twitter bot’s information, because how dare someone provide the truth.
They train people for two hours, only answer 19% of calls and when that 19% do get through, the policy does not follow the AAS crisis standard with regard to emergency personnel.
The 2015 submission indicates income of $129,922 and total assets of $22,255 so their income was about 47% more than budgeted.
The 2016 budget is far more interesting given they are expecting $200,000 worth of grants.
The travel bill is also surprising for a non profit, I realise there is a need to engage potential donors but there comes a point where the figure is just ridiculous and it would appear that that point is about a third of that budgeted total.
I see the director of operations “in kind” contributions have been reduced from $80,000 to receiving an actual salary of $28,800 and she is bringing in a personal assistant for herself.
There could be a fucking body count and nobody would know.
I have a friend who called them once, had her call dropped 4 times, only to get a really bored-sounding operator on the other end, then she was yelled at BY THE OPERATOR for using the term ‘dude’. SHE WAS SUICIDAL AT THE TIME. YOU DO NOT YELL AT SUICIDAL PEOPLE:
At the Trans Lifeline we were devastated to hear that eight people — many of whom were teens — died by suicide last night after election results announced that Donald Trump will be the next president of the United States. We are reaching out to the families to offer support and condolences. Trans people are among many people who are mourning today. We know that communities of color, muslims, immigrants, and many other groups are feeling the betrayal, sadness, and fear that comes with living in a country where a majority of people voted for a leader who hates you. It is personal. It is tragic. But it is not the end. Trans Lifeline has received over 350 calls from trans people in crisis, including many suicidal people. Our trans-identified operators are working hard to offer support, guidance, and hope through this difficult time. We’ve answered a staggering 115 calls in 24 hours, demonstrating that we are here for each other. It may feel right now as though hate won out, but we know that love is more powerful. Even though many in the trans community are giving everything they have to support each other, we have a long way to go to meet the need of trans people in crisis. We need to hire additional staff to train, support, and lead our volunteers. If we can raise 100K this month, then we can hire three full-time staff people to do this life-saving work. Please give now if you can.
If you are trans, we say to you — Keep fighting. We love you. If you are not trans, we say to you — Stand with us. We love you too, and we need you to show up for us. We need staunch allies, real confidants, supportive lovers, close friends, affirming faith leaders, and compassionate strangers. We need to support one another now more than ever. Remember, together we save lives!
Save your time (and your life) and call the national suicide hotline at 1-800-273-8255.
You can also call the Trevor Project at 1-866-488-7386, and their donation information is here.
Protect trans lives. Don’t fall for a scam that exploits potentially suicidal trans teenagers and young adults. Give to actual charities and hotlines.
This is… wow terrible many states have their own crisis hotlines as well. So if you search for crisis hotline + your state you should be able to find one as well that is more reputable
signal boost the SHIT outta this
i keep seeing trans lifeline on my dash getting attention
and im just letting you know, DONT SUPPORT TRANS LIFELINE
ACTUALLY SAVE TRANS LIVES BY USING THE HOTLINE FOR THE TREVOR PROJECT
honestly im gonna put this on my queue since none of ya understand yet
While you are worrying about whether beta readers will steal your ideas, there is a more genuine threat on the horizon.
When offered a publishing contract, please do all your research before you sign. There are a number of fakes and scammers out there, as well as good-intentioned amateurs that don’t know how to get your work to a wide audience. I won’t tell the heartbreaking stories here - there are too many.
Being published badly is worse than being never published.
It can destroy your career and your dreams.
The quick check is to google the publishing house name + scam or warning.
But, to be sure, check with these places first. They aren’t infallible (nothing is) but they can help you protect yourself. They are written and maintained by expereinced writers, editors, publishers and legal folks.
This is really important, so if you are a writer or have writer friends, or you are a writing blog, please reblog it.
Just to let you know, PublishAmerica changed their name to America Star Books.
HEAD’S UP, WRITER TYPES: THIS IS AN IMPORTANT PSA!
Also applies to many so-called freelance sites that are just content mills, and may not pay unless your work is used, even if the contract seems designed otherwise.
Listen, reading these is like legit reading horror stories. When it comes to publishing your writing, always, always, ALWAYS do your research. Not only will it help you avoid scams, but it will also be likely to help you land a much better fit for an agent/publisher/whatever. Knowing more is never going to hurt.
Omg!!! Thanks for the warning! Writers— reblog!
I’ve heard stories like this that are scarier than horror stories. This is an all time worst nightmare for a writer. Everyone reblog and make sure you keep your work safe!
Reblogging again for the links. Also check pred-ed.com and the Absolute Write forum. Then google Publisher’s name + scam and see what comes up. Do NOT use the BBB ratings, they are wholly unsuitable for rating publishers and regularly give A ratings to well-known publishing scams. You can also read my own post on publishing scams, have a link on the left of my blog ( can’t link here, I’m on mobile, sorry).
Equally important to know is that you can SELF-PUBLISH through a number of platforms these days. @ean-amhran and I used Amazon’s CreateSpace and Kindle Direct Publishing to publish both of our books. No editors, no contracts, no finagling with publishers who want to change your materials. Just direct-to-market material.
(Granted, it means you’ve got to do a LOT more work yourself with editing and formatting and cover art, but it’s worth it to miss the headache of trying to bargain with publishing houses or avoid scams.)
Be vigilant, fellow writers!
If you choose to self publish then HAVE A PLAN and think things through.
And hire an editor. Please, for the love of all that is holy, hire an editor. It’s expensive, but you will get a better book out, a better reputation…
If you’re going to publish electronically, make sure you also get someone who can LAY AN EBOOK OUT PROPERLY.
I have spent money on Kindle books, many of them reprints of older works, whose formatting is so messed up as to render them unreadable.
I actually recommend using the Smashwords Style Guide even if you don’t use Smashwords.
It lays out how to neatly format an e-book in a wonderful step by step format, and you can get it free from Smashwords. Just leave off the couple of things that are (very obviously) Smashwords specific.
If you can’t stand dealing with the meticulous detail, then by all means hire somebody, but most people can learn to format an ebook correctly and once you’ve done it a couple of times it takes about an hour tops.
Because the redirects aren’t working for me, I’m going to assume others might have trouble with these links, so for those who need it the URL for the website to Writer Beware is:
These are not publishers’ guilds, notice; you sometimes see scammers trying to defend themselves against Writer Beware exposes by claiming that they’re “small press” or “indie” and Big Publishing is somehow out to get them - but all of those guilds are run by and for writers, to help support them and represent them in the field. It is the closest writers have to having unions, and there’s no direct competition between them (you could literally be an in any of those guilds are the same time as each other, in addition to others, and I believe a number of authors are).
Writer Beware is a wonderful resource, and I highly recommend it. It’s both a good general guide to the scams people run/red flags to watch out for (such as giving up your copyright entirely as opposed to specific rights, or being charged to publish something or have it edited, when they’re trying to act like they’re a “normal” publisher), and a frequently-updated list of the latest specific known scammers, both in “fake agents” and fake/scammy publishers categories. (The company formerly known as Publish America is one of the most famous and egregious cases, but by far not the only one)
Additionally, for SF and fantasy writers, the SFWA’s own list of qualifying markets that one can be published in as a prerequisite to be able to get into their guild (remember, it IS a profession-based guild), is a great guide to normal markets for those genres that have standard contracts that aren’t abusive or scammy, and their guidelines include some of the industry-standard minimums for “per word” etc rates, so even if some new magazine market isn’t on their list, you can tell if it’s suspiciously far outside the usual per-word or whatnot standards. (It’s likely the guidelines for Mystery Writers of America etc also would be useful in that vein)
Even if you’re unpublished or don’t want to join their guild, they’re a wonderful group and resource, and I highly recommend their site and Writer Beware in particular!
The other sites mentioned above, such as “Preditors and Editors” should be still valid if you Google them, and are often rec’d by Writer Beware, but Writer Beware is the one I’m most familiar with. :)
Also, you should never have to pay an agent or anyone a “reading fee”! DO NOT PAY PEOPLE TO READ YOUR WORK!!! Run away from so-called agents that charge a reading fee! They are considered unethical in their own industry!
Also related to agents: Should you go this route and seek one, DO NOT PAY ONE DIME TO THEM upfront! A real agent only gets paid when he sells your book to a publisher! The average cut is about 10-15% of the first sale profits, if I remember right, with cuts of film and other rights maybe being more, when sold. At most, writers should only be responsible for the costs of phone calls and postage.
IT’S GIVEAWAY TIME! Today is my birthday and I thought it would be fun to host a giveaway at the same time to celebrate all you guys still following me.
I am going to pick 3 winners until may 17th and draw a bust of their OC/ Guardinne/ Candy!
R u l e s !
Must be following me!
You must make a reblog with an image of your OC/ Guardian/ Candy
Reblogs without pictures are not accepted!
HINT: If you want to have a good chance at winning, reblog with an original drawing of your OC
Happy birthday to you !
(you can change the clothes or the armor if you don’t like them)
not to start drama in the history fandom but some of yall out there have really bad opinions and also no critical thinking skills
also while I’m here: historical figures aren’t your fandom faves. they’re real people who had profound and often terrible effects on other real people. you can’t apply fandom logic to them. you can’t fill in the blanks with no evidence other than you like the idea. you can’t vilify some of them while simultaneously stanning over “”misunderstood babies”” who committed equal atrocities. and perhaps most importantly of all, you can’t treat real history as “canon” and develop AUs where your fave is exactly how you want them to be with none of the nasty bits attached. that’s not how you read history. that’s how you get a painfully obvious bias which makes your conclusions and contributions useless.
it’s ok u can say hamilton
full disclosure i was talking about the soviet union idk what’s going on in the hamilton sphere and i wanna keep it that way
While yes, the creator of the Pink Ribon symbol and her foundation fuckin sucks ass, the company that Blizzard is supporting it’s highly viable, the BCRF has been an A+ foundation with a clean history.
“IF THEY WANTED TO DONATE THE MONEY THEY COULD HAVE DONE IT THEMSELVES!!!”
While this argument is kinda super true, the point isn’t only the money, but also spreading the word, sure, they COULD HAVE donated a ton of money themselves and actually I would love if as a plus they do that, but a lot of people, specially younger people, are learning about the existence of this foundation just now.
I had no fuckin clue about the BCRF till the campain came out, never heard of it, a ton of people didn’t, the fact that such an influential game is spreading the word via their own game is a huge boost for the campaign.
“THEY MAKE YOU PAY FOR THE SKIN WHICH TAKES THE VALUE OUT OF YOUR GOOD DEED!!!”
A: Not all donations get you the Mercy skin, the goals are there to encourage players who don’t care about the campain but may want the collectables, AND to reward people for their good heart.
B: The 100% of the money collected goes directly to the charity.
C: Again, you’re not paying for the skin, you are donating money to a charity, the skin, the stickers and icons are all just rewards for people with big hearts.
D: Ton of donators are giving money via the streams, and some of them choose to donate a lot without getting reward.
“SOME PEOPLE DON’T EVEN CARE ABOUT THE TOPIC AND JUST WANT THE DAMN SKIN”
That proves that the skin idea is effective, sure, they may not care, but the skin hooked em into supporting too, the BCRF wins money even if you donate 1 dolar from the heart or a 100 looking for something back.
Sure, it’s kinda screwy doin good deeds only for what you may get, but it’s up to the person, that ain’t Blizzard nor the BCRF fault.
In conclusion?
SUPPORT PINK MERCY.
Also, it’s worth pointing out that Blizzard is donating $250,000 regardless. So that’s on top of what they raise at the end of the event.
Don’t forget the twitch streamers who are donating the money they make with this event as well!
Okay, friends, let’s talk about going to protests and weaponizing our whiteness, if in fact we are white.
You know what the protesters who marched with Dr. King wore? Their best. Their clergy stoles, their suits. If you’re a doctor or a nurse? Wear your scrubs. If you’re a parent? Wear your PTA shirt if it’s too hot for a suit. If you’re a student? Dress like you’re going to go volunteer somewhere nice, or wear a t-shirt that proclaims you a member of your high school band, your drama group, your church youth group. Whatever it is, make sure it’s right there with your white face.
This is literally the tactic of the people who marched with King in the 60s, and we need to bring it back, and bring it back HARD.
I do this all the time when I go to marches. I wear my cutest, least-offensive geeky t-shirt, crocs and black pants, or I wear my t-shirt that mentions my kid’s school district, or now I’ll wear the pink t-shirt that says I’m part of the Sisterhood at my shul. If it’s cold enough, I wear a cardigan and jeans and sit my ass in my wheelchair. (I need to anyway.) I put signs on my wheelchair that say things like ‘I love my trans daughter’ and ‘love for all trans children’ or something else that applies to the event. Dress like you are going to an interview if you can, or make yourself look like a parent going to pick up a gallon of milk at the corner store. Make yourself “respectable.” Use respectability politics and whiteness AS A WEAPON.
Fuck yes I will weaponize the fact that I look like a white soccer mom. And you should do this too if you can. Weaponize the fuck out of your whiteness. If you are disabled and comfortable with doing so, turn ableism on its head and weaponize it. Make it so that the cameras that WILL be pointed at you see your whiteness, see your status as a parent, see your status as a community member. See you in your wheelchair or with your cane. If you have privilege or a status that allows you to use it as a weapon or a shield, use it as a shield to defend others or a weapon to break through the bullshit.
This has a fair number of notes, so maybe it’s already been mentioned but …
The “Sunday Best” thing from the Civil Rights Movement of the 50s & 60s, or wearing markers of an assigned profession (e.g. scrubs) is an established tactic of social movements. They’re part of what Charles Tilly (one of the academic god father’s of social movement theory) called “WUNC” displays. WUNC can be broken down to:
worthiness: sober demeanor (!!!); neat clothing (!!!); presence of clergy, dignitaries, and mothers with children;
unity: matching badges, headbands, banners, or costumes (!!!); arching in ranks; singing and chanting;
numbers: headcounts, signatures on petitions, messages from constituents, filling streets;
commitment: braving bad weather; visible participation by the old and handicapped (!!!); resistance to repression; ostentatious sacrifice (!!!), subscription, and/or benefaction. (Tilly, 2004, pg. 4 - tumblr-style emphasis my own)
While I’m very much in support of anti-fascist protesting in whatever form it takes, especially when engaged in a counter-protest, one of the great tragedies of the American political climate right now is that we’ve really forgotten some of the biggest lessons of the Civil Rights Era. King didn’t trot out fresh-faced students, church women in big fancy hats, or the elderly and disabled without knowing what he was doing. He (and the other members of his affiliated organizations) knew that if the police were photographed using violent repression against a mother holding her child, or a student in slacks, a cardigan, and Buddy Holly glasses, it would go over very differently than if they were photographed beating up “unruly thugs”. Their presence alone would be notable to people locally, especially in the heat of the south. But so would photographs of repressive violence against “nice people” that would then get picked up by the national media, and maybe in markets that were more sensitive to racial oppression.
[And like, there are other factors as well. People also sometimes think the Civil Rights Era erupted spontaneously from Jim Crowe and segregation in the South, and those are giant factors (”depravation” and “grievance”, in jargon), but there were also legislative things and court rulings brewing since the 1920s (the NAACP had been trying Civil Rights cases, and looking for test cases over the years), and the Cold War meant that America needed to appear to be the perfect image of opportunity and equality (together these things manifest as an “opportunity structure”. again, jargon). Not to get to down on protest as its own thing, but the structuralists do have a bit of a point.]
… There are other types of anti-fascist counter-protesting that have developed in various ways through the years. And like, a big thing in social movement theory overall is that while there are common tactics (”protest repertoires” in jargon), historical contexts matter a lot and some groups will have to do more dramatic performances of the WUNC to get attention. There’s also the move revolutionary antifa-type riot mentality. I’m not gonna call that one wrong either, mind, but since the Civil Rights Movement was brought up, it should be noted that those two forms of protest differed intentionally.
Anyway, as someone turning in a dissertation on this in a couple of days, here’s some drive-by political-sociology. If you want to learn more about the research behind processes of social movements, where they succeeded, and where they failed, I totally recommend checking out:
Charles Tilly (2004) Social Movements 1768-2008,
Sidney Tarrow (2011) Strangers at the Gates: Movements and States in Contentious Politics,
Sidney Tarrow (1998) Power in Movement: Social Movements and Contentious Politics,
Frances Fox Piven & Richard A. Cloward (1988) Poor People’s Movements: Why They Succeed and How They Fail, (this is on the Civil Rights Era protests and the somewhat fraught legislative follow-up exactly)
McAdam, Tarrow and Tilly (2001) The Dynamics of Contention
(McAdam has a quite well-regarded book on the Civil Rights Era specifically. I haven’t read it personally as it relates less to my regional context. However like, that’s worth noting and looking into. Also all of these are stodgey academic texts, but they’re not uncommon in university libraries, or even in some bookstores. They’re also all a bit old now and shouldn’t cost you a ton online.)
As a note – My point here isn’t to descend from the Ivory Tower of Academia and say “you people on the streets are doing this wrong!!1!”. Theory doesn’t always match up with Practice, and as noted by pretty much every notable theorist anyway… Context matters a TON. Not all movements will be able to use the same practices or performances. Sometimes their inaccessible, sometimes they just don’t have the cross-context appeal. It’s about experimentation and finding opportunity. To be clear, this isn’t about me telling folks how it should be done. Still, I think it’s worth sharing information when it’s available, especially if people who might not know are trying to draw specific links to historical cases. Social movement theorists have pretty much all agreed that WUNC displays (along with other factors like media diffusion) are super duper important and can be recognized in movements across historical contexts. I think it’s worth it for younger activists who might be looking for protest repertoires that work for their movement as it’s developing to take heed of the successes and failures of the past. Especially since a lot of it is either a) so much a part of history and culture that it doesn’t really get examined for its constituent bits, or b) has been mythologized to the point that it’s hard to look for really good popular historical information on its technical processes.
(If people have questions, feel free to DM me. I might be a little slow the next couple of days as I finish up proof-reading and checking all my citations but yeah. Let’s share knowledge and smash the fash.)
The Nazis of 2017 gained the ground they have with articles about how they were “dapper.” That was a political choice, and it worked. It snowed a lot of gullible goyim. People refused for almost a year to call “the alt-right” Nazis because they looked “like average white people.”
Nazis see their whiteness as a weapon already. Get yours out there and show them – they will never sway everyone. “If you have privilege or a status that allows you to use it as a weapon or a shield, use it as a shield to defend others or a weapon to break through the bullshit.”
Not someone who typically adds to an already long post, but I have done the whole dressing dapper af thing and it WORKS. A few years ago there was this big city council vote about an anti-discrimination ordinance that was going to be passed in my relatively progressive, but still very southern hometown. There were huge protests on both sides, both for and against the ordinance, with each side wearing a specific color (red was for, purple against) to show which side they supported. Most of the people against the ordinance were bussed in by hyper conservative churches and many didn’t even live in the town. It was a lot of old people and many of them wore nice clothing. I knew this would probably be the case, so I, being a southern girl at heart and knowing how these people work, broke out my crinoline and nicest red dress and perfect white gloves. I curled my hair and put on makeup and I showed my ass up to the protest. Made a point to be the picture of a perfect southern belle. And it threw the bigoted assholes for a serious loop. It was like they were short circuiting or something. They kept telling me how I reminded them of someone from their church or how pretty I looked and “how would a nice girl like you like a big cross dressing man in the ladies room???” which of course allowed me to explain, ever so nicely, that they were being bigoted assholes. And they Did Not Like that, because I was forcing them to look in the mirror, at someone who looks like them/someone they claim to be “protecting” and question their motives and beliefs. Seriously guys, it fucking works. Weaponize the fact that you look like the oppressor and throw it in their faces.
Bless this last comment.
say it again:
Weaponize the fact that you look like the oppressor and throw it in their faces.
“Imagine having a child that refuses to hug you or even look you in the eyes”
Imagine being shamed, as a child, for not showing affection in a way that is unnatural or even painful for you. Imagine being forced, as a child, to show affection in a way that is unnatural or even painful for you. Imagine being told, as a child, that your ways of expressing affection weren’t good enough. Imagine being taught, as a child, to associate physical affection with pain and coercion.
As a preschool special ed para, this is very important to me. All my kids have their own ways of showing affection that are just as meaningful to them as a hug or eye contact is to you or me.
One gently squeezes my hand between both of his palms as he says “squish.” I reciprocate. When he looks like he’s feeling sad or lost, I ask if I can squish him, and he will show me where I can squish him. Sometimes it’s almost like a hug, but most of the time, it’s just a hand or an arm I press between my palms. Then he squishes my hand in return, says “squish,” and moves on. He will come ask for squishes now, when he recognizes that he needs them.
Another boy smiles and sticks his chin out at me, and if he’s really excited, he’ll lean his whole body toward me. The first time he finally won a game at circle time, he got so excited he even ran over and bumped chins with me. He now does it when he sees me outside of school too. I stick out my chin to acknowledge him, and he grins and runs over and I lean down for a chin bump.
Yet another child swings my hand really fast. At a time when another child would be seeking a hug, she stands beside me and holds my hand, and swings it back and forth, with a smile if I’m lucky. The look on her face when I initiate the hand swinging is priceless.
Another one bumps his hip against mine when he walks by in the hallway or on the playground, or when he gets up after I’m done working with him. No eye contact, no words, but he goes out of his way to “crash” into me, and I tell him that it’s good to see him. He now loves to crash into me when I’m least expecting it. He doesn’t want anything, really. Just a bump to say “Hi, I appreciate you’re here.” And when he’s upset and we have to take a break, I’ll bump him, ask if he needs to take a walk, and we just go wander for a bit and discuss whatever’s wrong, and he’s practically glued to my side. Then one more bump before we go back into the room to face the problem.
Moral of the story is, alternative affection is just as valid and vitally important as traditional affection. Reciprocating alternative affection is just as valid and vitally important as returning a hug. That is how you build connections with these children.
This is so goddamn important.
I verbally express affection. A LOT.
My husband… doesn’t. I don’t know why. For the longest time part of me wondered if it meant he loved me less.
At some point I told him about a thing I had done as a kid. Holding hands, three squeezes means ‘I Love You’.
Suddenly he’s telling me I Love You all the time.
Holding my hand, obviously, but also randomly.
taptaptap
on my hand, my shoulder, my butt, my knee, whatever body part is closest to him, with whatever part of him is closest to me
All the time.
More often than I ever verbally said it.
It’s an ingrained signal now, I can tap three times on whatever part of him, and get three taps back in his sleep. Apparently I do the same.
It’s made a huge difference for us.
People say things differently.
Some ways my autistic son has said “I love you” over the years:
*putting my face in his hands and pushing our foreheads together while shaking his head in a seizure-like manner
*getting his one eye as close as possible to one of mine and saying “I see you”
*stopping suddenly to slowly pet my cheek once, smiling, then running away
*he stumbled upon The Rules from Zombieland on YouTube and memorized them; when I would drop him off at school, I’d say “I love you,” he’d say “rule number 32, enjoy the little things,” then walk away. That one is my all-time favorite.
*somehow he learned how to give butterfly kisses and those are pretty awesome too
PLEASE REBLOG THIS AND SPREAD THE WORD. DO NOT JUST LIKE IT, OTHERS CANT’ SEE IT IF IT’S LIKED. YOU NEED TO REBLOG.
Guys, it’s happening again! It’s real and and honest-to-god disturbing. The blog displays young girls with their shirts up and creepy ‘daddy’ captions. Not to mention, It seems to have a fascination with impregnating young girls that haven’t even started puberty properly. Reblog and tag people in this to spread the word!
i looked at that blog, briefly. didn’t spot any CP but there are inappropriate images of very young children with equally inappropriate captions, so i think it should be reportable by tumblr’s standards. if someone manages to scroll through the blog and find cp you can report it to the police, too. the blog is hard to look at though so be warned.
#GrowingUpUgly
When guys in middle school would get dared by their friends to ask you out and see if you say yes as a joke
How about growingupugly and then turning out sort of okay looking but you don’t know for sure because your self esteem is shot and you’re convinced you look awful?
#GrowingUpUgly Being so wholly convinced of your hideousness that as an adult you now literally cannot even imagine that someone would pay you a compliment and mean it; the only conceivable thing that could be happening is that they’re either a) taking the piss like the boys in school used to or b) so repulsed by you that they feel sorry for you and are telling you you’re pretty because they think you need to hear it.
Hurts how true this is though
I don’t know if this helps, but I’d like to say it anyway just in case it does.
None of you were ugly.
The other day I found a class picture from fourth grade and I looked everyone in it, and then I saw the “ugly girl” – the one people constantly harassed, whose desk kids would pretend was contaminated, the one kids would invent complex songs about just to voice their disgust toward her.
And she looked like a normal little girl.
She looked no different than the rest of the class.
She was never ugly. And I know that you may be thinking to yourself “but I WAS ugly” – I just want you to consider for a moment that maybe you weren’t.
Maybe you were tormented by your peers for no reason except that they were experimenting with and learning the rules of callous human cruelty that would define the rest of their lives – and recognizing this, the adults who should have protected you, let it happen. Cruelty and social shaming – the foundations of how human beings police their society is learned and it is practiced.
Since I’ve become an adult, I don’t recall ever seeing an “ugly” kid. Kids are all just strange-looking works in progress that the artist seems to have abandoned intending to finish them later.
I want you to think about our racist and unhealthy “standards of beauty”. Are any of the things that society fixates on as “ugly” truly ugly? No. We take things that are beautiful and we associate them with ugliness and badness and coarseness – to control them – to batter the will of the already oppressed down to the point where they think the abuse they receive is justified.
The children who demeaned you were learning to crush the human spirit to the point where the target internalizes all that hate and keeps hating themselves even when the bullies are no longer there. Those children were learning the sadism that defines our social hierarchy – we live in a culture where success is achieved through exploiting others.
No one deserves to be treated that way. LGBT children shouldn’t grow up ashamed of themselves. Black children shouldn’t grow up thinking white children are inherently prettier.
You were not ugly. You were told you were ugly so that people could have an “excuse” to target you, to ostracize you, to other you, and to abuse you.
An “ugly child” wouldn’t know they were ugly until someone TOLD them they were. They don’t grow up ugly, they grow up emotionally abused.
And still if you feel that you were the exception and you were objectively and unquestionably so ugly as a child that everyone noticed – even if you feel you are still that ugly now…
That doesn’t mean you don’t deserve love. It doesn’t mean you won’t find love, and trust and happiness.
You are worthy of respect. You have worth. You have value.
And if the rest of the world doesn’t seem to notice your worth – look at the evil and vile things the world does value and count yourself lucky not to be among that number.
There are people who will see your worth. There are people who will look at you and not see “ugliness” – they will see a friend, a mentor, a hero and even, yes, a lover.
If no one else says it today, and even if you can’t say it yourself, I would like to tell you that you are not ugly. That you were not ugly. That you did nothing wrong. That you did not deserve to be treated the way that you have been and that you deserve happiness and love and respect. And you will find it.
I was about to reblog this and add at the end that I thought I was the ugly kid but I looked back at pictures of myself and was like “I was never ugly????” And also kids suck. Thanks for the addition, poster before me.
If you’re trans and you use a packer or breastforms on a day to day basis, do not use them at the airport. The body scanners that the TSA uses look for variations from a “male” or “female” body, so if you have bulges where they ‘shouldn’t’ be, you will get the patdown.
signal boost this, please.
there’s a page on the TSA’s website that has tips and info specifically for trans travelers!! I can’t remember everything it has on it but one of the big things is that if you get flagged for a patdown or other screening you can have it done in private if you so request :) :)
I work in an ER and we see suicides all the time. And we get at least 3 suicidal ideations a night. We all care about you. I promise, we do. A team of complete strangers who have worked 3+ 12 hour shifts this week who are being screamed at all day and night and probably haven’t had lunch and trust me, we still love you and care about you.
We had a 16 year old patient last night who we couldn’t save. We were in that room with this patient for over an hour, we did everything we could. And let me tell you, we all cried. The EMT’s, the nurses, the doctor. We all huddled together in the doctors dictation room and cried.
I went through the rest of my shift with smudged mascara and tracks on my cheeks.
I remember the names of all the patients that have taken their lives on my shifts.
I remember squeezing the hands, smoothing the hair, kissing the foreheads, and wiping away the blood and the vomit of every patient that has left me too soon.
I can still see every face that I have zipped into a body bag.
Trust me, someone cares about you. You have never met them yet. You don’t ever think about them. They are never remembered when you talk about heroes and role models.
But someone loves you.
damn….
This made me cry
When I was in hospital being seen to, being bandaged and sedated and surrounded by medical staff, my family was ignoring my calls, my friends hadn’t cared to check in. I felt terrified and hopeless and so very unimportant that it was taking everything it had in me to not drink the cleaning products left nearby by one of the cleaners, to make sure I finished the job properly.
There was a nurse though, who came into my room with a soft smile, who held my hand, who took away the bottles when she noticed me watching them for too long. There was a nurse that plugged in my phone to charge in case my family called back, that took away the bloody cloths the paramedics had left me with, that helped me put my hair up when it was sticking to my tear streaked face, because my arms were too sore to do it myself.
There was a nurse that saved my life twice in one night, who made me feel that I was worth being looked after, and her name was Emma and she was the most beautiful person I’ve met.
Months later, I was visiting my mother at the same hospital whilst she was incapacitated with back concerns. Whilst I sat and watched my mum sleeping, a nurse approached to check up on her. She met my gaze and she smiled immediately, face lit with recognition, and she said “oh my gosh, hey! How are you doing?”
People definitely do care about us even if we don’t think they do, and to the original poster?
Your faces are never forgotten either.
You’re more than heroes to me.
Im not crying you are
I was feeling really down before I read this but this made me so happy and made me feel so much better like I’m worth it.
You don’t have to do anything sexual that you’re not interested in. Moreover, you don’t have to explain why. “No” is a complete sentence.
Not interested in getting pegged? You don’t have to. Monogamous and not into the idea of another partner? Okay. Not sure about period sex? Cool.
And if your partner decides to question or mock your maturity or your masculinity or your sexuality because you say no? It’s time to re-evaluate the relationship. See if you don’t deserve better than that.
Sometimes good posts are made by annoying people so I’ll help out
These are Safe Shorts. They were made by Sandra Seilz after someone attempted to rape her. If the fabric is torn, an alarm will be sounded.
This is the Rape-aXe, invented by a South African doctor by the name of
Sonnet Ehlers. After interviewing a rape victim who wished she had teeth down there, she made this. If someone’s penis is inserted and pulled back out, the teeth will sink in, and can only be removed by a doctor.
The Killer Tampon (couldn’t find a site for it), made by retired anaesthetist Jaap Haumann. When penetration takes place, the sharp end will slice the offending appendage.
The Anti-Rape Belt (also couldn’t find a site), made by a group of Swedish teenagers led by Nadja Björk. It requires two hands to undo.
Anti-Rape Underwear/Bra (once again), as made by a group of Indian students. Will deliver an electric shock when met with unwanted advances, as well as sounding an alarm.
Undercover Colours. Made by 4 male undergraduates at North Carolina U, they change colours when in contact with chemicals or drugs that cause unconsciousness. Used in case you’re wary that your drink has been roofied.
These are just tools to help, but in addition to being mindful of your situations and staying safe, they can help when the worst happens.
Stay safe.
ok, those are all kind of awesome. i wish they weren’t needed, bit still…awesome solutions.
I feel more comfortable reblogging this version
RapeAxe has a gofund me up that barely has 700 dollars. I feel like the inventions that havent even been funded yet should be linked to the page you can support them at.
So I dunno how many people know this but if you go to burgerking and order anything at all off the menu, even just a drink, you get two little surveys on the back of the receipt
Each survey can get you a free whopper burger or a chicken sandwich with the purchase of any drink (even the $1 drink)
Just fill out the survey and get the code and write it on the back.
If you are short on money and really need a substantial meal, you can keep doing this cycle of getting receipts and free sandwiches for as long as you like
Idk I thought this might help people who are hard up for cash. This works in the US.
reblog 2 save a hungry tummy maybe?
these surveys actually saved me as a child growing up with a neglectful, mentally ill mother. shout out 2 every hood burger king
Wow, I’ve been tagged and messaged a lot, didn’t I ?
I see lot of false assumptions about what’s upcoming, its pretty funny. There are good guesses too, indeed.
Well, nonetheless i won’t be answering you, sorry :) You’ll have to wait and see what happens !
I’ll still leave you with these enigmas : -You’ve been asking for lots of things in the past years ^^ We can’t do everything, so choices were made. -I also have my own choices and desires for the game and characters. And as much as i like and try to please you, I did listened to myself too. -You may be stressed, but the team is also stressed and excited for what’s coming up ^^ -Like for everything, it’s impossible to get everyone satisfied, but i want to point out something important, which is : the main story and plots are already planned. -You know i’m good at torturing people’s hearts :)
Overall, if you enjoyed your first journey on Sweet Amoris, maybe have a little faith in us for the next one ?
PS Please be kind to me and do not harass me with messages, i won’t answer anything :) It’s also no use to threaten me if i dare to do or not doing this or that…blabla..
Thank you for starting the chain @elchustells !! Finally I can give a big big big warm hug to my beloved friends, who’s shared this path with me, supported me and gave their beautiful words/important opinions to me.
THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR BEING WITH ME AND PLEASE ACCEPT MY HUG!
Thank you for all to tagging me and If I skipped your name, the list isn’t the everything. Anyone who’s loudly or silently admire me is my pal and deserve warm hugs.
Well well well, isn’t that the cutest thing ever? ❤❤
Fun fact about me: I hate hugs in real life. Even if you’re one of my closest friends BUT I will gladly accept yours @lunaria-sucrette because you’re one of the best artist I know!
I will give a hug to everyone who can deal with my daily bullshit aka my followers! I love you all! Special hug to
You sure have seenthis post. It has spread like wildfire over the past few days so I doubt there is any artist out there who hasn’t seen it. But even if you didn’t, you should read on because I’m about to tell you a handy little thing that can help you to protect your art from such assholes as the anon who submitted this bullcrap, as well as art thieves in general.
The magic word is Metadata.
Metadata is like an invisible signature that is embeded into a file. It can contain all kinds of information, like Title, date, keywords for online seach engines, and copyright information. And the best thing is, since this information is “hidden” in the code of your picture, it’s hard to remove it.
There is a nice basic tutorial on how to add Metadata, or “additional file information” to your images in photoshop. It’s really, really easy so check it out!
I’m not sure if you can do the same with any other art program. If you know how to do this in other programs / can confirm that it works the same way there, please tell me so I can add the information to this post.
Adding the Metadata will not stop idiots from taking and reposting your art. It also won’t make them stop editing out your signature. It WILL however, help you prove that you are the original artist whenever you have to. Always remember my friends. You, the artist, are protected by law. No one has the right to take your intellectual property and hard work and repost, use or edit it without your permission. Ever.
art thief: well how can you prove its yours??
me: /opens metadata
I spread the word as it is important to all artist who ever suffered from art thieving or so.
You guys, metadata is super important, you guys. In an everday and legal sense. People legitimately look at and rely on metadata to know the basic, but important bits of information about a digital product (paintings, photographs, exe files, etc.), ESPECIALLY the source.
I was 6 years old when my two older sisters went to Palestine to “visit family.” At least that’s what my mom told me.
I was born in Chicago, like my sisters, but our parents are Palestinian, born in Jerusalem. I was four-months-old when our father died — he worked at a gas station and was shot during a robbery. After that, the four of us moved into the basement apartment of my mom’s mother’s house, where my sisters and I shared a room.
I worshipped my oldest sister growing up. She was rebellious and loved pop music and makeup, which my grandmother and mother couldn’t stand. We were raised Muslim, and while my mom didn’t make us wear hijabs — headscarves — to school, we did when we went to mosque on the high holidays. Every other day, we wore long-sleeve shirts and pants or knee-length skirts.
I don’t have too many memories of my sisters, but I do remember how much my oldest sister loved Usher. She was 13 and she’d sing along to his music on the radio in our room. She bought a poster of him, shirtless, and pinned it to the wall next to our bed.
He didn’t last long. My grandmother saw the poster one day and ripped it off the wall. She was screaming at my sister, and my sister yelled right back — she was feisty! But it didn’t matter; Usher was gone. And a year later, so were my sisters.
My mom said they were “going on a trip” to Palestine, but even as a 6-year-old, I’d heard rumors about a diary entry. Something about my sister kissing a boy behind a tree, or writing that she wanted to. I remember large suitcases and both of my sisters weeping as we said goodbye. I cried too, but I was more mad at them for leaving me. Who would I listen to the radio with late at night?
Still, I assumed they were coming back. So when my mother told me that they wanted to stay in Palestine, I got really upset. I missed them so much.
The only time I got to see my friends was at school.
In 8th grade, our class took a field trip to tour the high school. No one wore uniforms, like we did in middle school! I could even wear my skinny jeans there. Yep, as strict as my mom was, she did buy me skinny jeans that were super popular then. I remember being in the store and pointing them out and being stunned when she nodded yes, then paid for three pairs at the register. They were the only things I owned that made me feel like a normal kid.
But right before middle school graduation, I came home from school one afternoon to find my mother and grandmother rummaging through my closet.
“What are you doing?” I asked.
My mother was holding a garbage bag and my grandmother had scissors. They were cutting my skinny jeans into pieces and throwing them away.
I was so confused — she’d bought them for me! When I asked my mom why, she said, “They’re inappropriate and revealing. You’re too old to dress like this now!”
I was furious. All I had left were one pair of baggy jeans, which I hated. For the first time in middle school, I was relieved to have a uniform.
As soon as I graduated 8th grade, I started pestering my mom about enrolling me in high school. Every time I asked if she’d done it, she’d say, “Not yet.” In July, she said, “I’m signing you up for an all girls’ school.” But there was a wait list, so then it was going to be online school. I even did my own research and had pamphlets sent to the house, but nothing happened.
By September, all of my friends had started school but me. I woke up every day at 10am and watched TV, cleaned the house, and helped make dinner. I was beyond bored. Meanwhile my mom loved having me around. She didn’t work, and always said that it was important for me to learn how to be a good housewife. I cringed every time she said that — that was the last thing I wanted to be.
In fact, I really wanted a job, even if it was just working at my step-dad’s gas station. Anything to get out of the house. I even asked my step-dad if I could get a workers’ permit, which you can get at 15 in Chicago, and he said, “Sure!” But just like with high school, nothing ever happened. It was another empty promise.
My laptop was my refuge.
Facebook was the only way for me to stay in touch with my friends. I made up a random name that my parents could never guess and chatted with friends throughout the day. If my mom walked into the room, I’d switch the screen to a video game. She had no idea. Earlier that year, when I told friends why I wasn’t in school, more than one told me, “That’s illegal!” I kind of knew I had the legal right to be in school, but wasn’t sure who to tell. My parents didn’t care — it’s what they wanted!
A year passed, and the following summer, I was chatting on Facebook with a guy I knew from middle school.
When he wrote, “Want to go to Chipotle this Friday?” my heart skipped a beat.
I was super excited and typed back, “Sure.”
I told my parents that I was going to see my 24-year-old cousin. She was the only person I was ever allowed to visit. She’s also incredibly cool and promised to cover for me. I met her at her house, and then she dropped me off at the mall and told me to have a great time.
I did! He was cute, and super nice. I told him that my parents were strict and didn’t even know where I was. He was like, “No worries!”
It was the most fun I’d had in over a year. At the end of our date, I told him that I’d be in touch over Facebook, and floated home.
The next night, I was in the living room watching TV when the doorbell rang. My mom answered, and I heard his voice ask, “Is Yasmine home?”
I froze.
My mother started screaming, “Who are you and why are you at this house?”
He said, “I’m Yasmine’s boyfriend.”
I could see him standing in front of my mom, her back to me, and was trying to wave to him, like, “Go away! This is a terrible idea!”
She threatened to call the police, slammed the door, and then screamed at me: “Go to your room. You’re grounded!”
The next day, my mom went grocery shopping without me and locked the glass storm door from the outside, which meant I was trapped. For the next two weeks, I was literally kept under lock and key when she left.
And then one day, my mother said, “Pack your bags. We’re going to Palestine to visit your sisters.”
I’d only been there once when I was 10; I don’t even remember seeing my sisters then — all I remember is that it was dusty and dry. No green at all. I hated it. Plus, I speak only very basic Arabic, which is what they speak there.
I was dreading the trip. Saying goodbye to my little sister was painful — she was 8 by then. She was the only other person who knew, besides my cousin, about my date. I fought back tears and promised I’d be back soon.
My mom said we’d be gone for a month, but I didn’t trust her. On the way to the airport, I asked to see my return ticket. I wanted proof that it existed. She was indignant as she showed me the ticket, but it made me feel better.
My mother and grandmother and I landed in Tel Aviv, which was as hot and dusty as I remembered. I felt claustrophobic in the cab, which we took to Ramallah, the Palestinian capital. My grandmother has a house there, and both of my sisters lived nearby.
I was so angry about being there that I wasn’t even excited to see my sisters. I couldn’t believe that they’d left me all those years before. Now, they were both married with kids. But by the end of that first evening, I relaxed with them. I even told them what happened with my Chipotle date, and they started teasing me, like, “You’re such an idiot! With a white guy? Really?”
They thought that if he’d been Muslim, I wouldn’t have gotten into so much trouble. I wasn’t so sure, but it still felt good to laugh with them about it.
About two weeks into our stay, my sisters sat me down and started doing my hair and makeup. I was never allowed to wear makeup at home, so I thought it was cool. When I asked why, they said they wanted me to meet a friend of theirs.
Their friend was in his twenties but still lived with his mom, which my sister called “a problem.” I didn’t understand what she meant by that.
He arrived with his mom and uncle and started speaking to me in Arabic. I barely understood anything except for his asking me how old I was.
I said, “I’m 15. I just finished 8th grade.”
He looked perplexed. So was I.
After he left, I asked my sisters what the meeting was about. They explained that the way to meet suitors is through families. When a family thinks a girl is ready to be married — usually she’s part of that decision — they pass word along to other families that they’re looking for a husband. The couple then meets through the parents, and if it is a good match, an arrangement is made.
A week passed, and once again my sisters sat me down and started putting makeup on me. They said that another guy was coming to meet me. When I asked, “Who?”
They said, “Don’t worry about it. Just have fun.”
The doorbell rang and in walked a guy with his parents. I’m 5'8" and he was 5'4", nine years older, and missing half of his front left tooth. Everyone seemed very eager. I was repulsed.
I sat stone-faced the entire time they were there. As soon as he and his family left, my mom and grandmother said that they thought I should marry him. They said, “He has a job and a house.” That’s all it took.
I was furious. By then, I realized that they’d brought me to Palestine to get married and planned to leave me there. Instead of berating them, I immediately started thinking of ways to return home on my own. I had watched SVU. I knew this was totally illegal. I just needed to figure out a way to reach a detective in Illinois who could help me escape.
I also knew then that I couldn’t trust my sisters — anytime I complained to them, they’d just say, “It’s not so bad! You’ll learn to love him!”
He and I met two more times that week and each time, I hoped he’d figure out that I was being coerced. But then, during that third visit, all the men went into one room while the women stayed in another.
My sister, mother, and grandmother were chatting with his mother and sisters when I heard the men read the engagement passage from the Koran, which announces a marriage.
Startled, I said to my sisters, “What are they doing?”
My oldest sister said, “They’re reading the passage.”
I shouted, “No!” and fought back tears.
My worst nightmare was becoming a terrifying reality. I ran into the bathroom, curled into a ball, and dissolved into tears. How could my family do this to me? I thought about running away, but how? My mother had my passport. I had no money. I was stuck. I started thinking about different ways to die. Anything was better than this.
After his family left, I could no longer contain my rage at my mother. “How could you do this to me? I am your daughter!” I shouted. Tears were streaming down my face. I could see my mom was upset, too — she was crying, shaking her head. I think she felt bad about it, but she also felt like it was the best option. I felt so betrayed.
And just then, my grandmother marched into the room and slapped me. “Don’t disrespect your mother!” she said, before turning to my mother and saying, “See? She needs this. How else will she learn to be respectful?’
That’s when I learned that my grandmother had set the whole thing up. She’d met this man’s family at a mall the same week I met him! His parents owned a restaurant and spotted us shopping. They approached her to see if I was an eligible bride for their son. She told them yes, but that I had to be married before she flew back to the States. He had no other prospects, so they were excited I was one.
I never liked my grandmother, but I didn’t hate her until that moment.
The wedding was planned for September 30th, a week and a half away. I was still desperately trying to figure a way out of it. I told my mom, “I’ll find a way to leave.” She replied, “Either you marry him or someone way older who won’t be as nice.”
My sisters said the same. “You’re lucky.” As much as I dreaded what was happening, they made the alternative sound even worse.
A few days before the wedding, my oldest sister finally revealed that she was also married against her will. “I was kicking and screaming the whole way,” she told me. “But I learned to love him. You will too.”
I don’t remember the ceremony — everything is such a blur — but I do remember pulling away when he tried to kiss my cheek and my mother hissing, “Kiss his cheek!” I refused.
At the end of the wedding party, both of my sisters were so excited about my first night with him. They even said, “Text us afterwards!”
I hated them.
The first night was awful. The only thing I’m thankful for is that my husband was not a violent or aggressive man. It could have been so much worse. I get terrible migraine headaches brought on by stress, and I used them to my advantage in the weeks that followed.
He took that first week off of work and we spent most of it with his family. I did the best I could to tolerate being around him and his family while I tried to figure a way out of this mess. To do that, I needed to get on the internet.
When he went back to his job as a mechanic, he’d be gone by 9am. I’d get up, have breakfast and go to his mom’s house to help her clean and make dinner. She had a computer, so one day, I asked if I could use it to talk to my mother and she agreed. Instead, I logged onto Facebook and messaged a friend from 3rd grade and told her where I was and what had happened.
She wrote back immediately, “That’s illegal!”
Once again, I knew that, but I didn’t know what to do.
I had another friend I met through Facebook who lived in Texas. He was Muslim. I told him what happened, and he wrote, ‘You need to call the embassy!’ He even sent the number.
My heart was pounding as I wrote it in a piece of paper and shoved it into my pocket.
On October 14th, I was in our apartment in the afternoon when I finally worked up the nerve to call. I used the Nokia flip phone my husband gave me to talk to him and my sisters.
An American-sounding man answered the phone and I blurted, “I’m a U.S. citizen. My parents brought me here against my will to marry a man. I want to go home.”
After a moment of silence, he said, “Wow, this is a first. Hold for a moment.” He connected me to a man named Mohammed, who asked me for my parents’ names and address in the states.
I gave him all the proof I could think of that I was a US citizen. I didn’t know my social security number and didn’t have my passport. He said that was okay, but he needed proof that I was actually married. He asked for the marriage certificate. I had no idea where it was. Then he asked me for my husband’s last name, and I realized, I had no idea what that was either.
Mohammed told me he’d be in touch once he verified all my information. He called me several times over the next two months. During that time, I learned my husband’s last name, which was legally mine as well.
As I waited for news, I got lots of migraines.
On December 3rd, Mohammed called with the number for a taxi service and the address of a hotel. He told me to be there the next morning at 11am.
The next morning, I waited for my husband to leave and shoved all of my belongings — including the traditional wedding gold my husband’s family gave me — into my suitcase and called the number. That’s when I realized that I didn’t even know my address. I told the driver the name of the closest big store and then stayed on the phone with him, telling him when to turn right or left. He still couldn’t find me, so I ran down to the main street to flag him down praying no one would see me.
I held my breath for the entire 30-minute ride to the hotel. There, in the parking lot, I spotted a blond woman sitting with a guy in a black van.
“Are you with the US embassy?” I asked.
They said yes, and then she patted me down, explaining it was for security purposes, to make sure I was not strapped with any bombs.
I said, “Do whatever you need to do!” I didn’t care — I was so close to freedom.
When they put me in the back seat, I pulled off my headscarf and fought back happy tears: There, with these two strangers, I felt safe for the first time in forever.
We went to the US Embassy in Jerusalem where I spent the day filling out paperwork in order to enter into the foster care system back in the States. I had no idea what that meant other than from this one cartoon show called Foster Home for Imaginary Friends, but agreeing to enter foster care wasn’t hard — at least it was a new start.
That night, a diplomat accompanied me to the airport with two bodyguards, and I was placed on a plane to Philadelphia.
On my next flight, I flew from Philadelphia to Chicago O'Hare and sat next to a 20-something guy on his way to his friend’s bachelor party who asked me how old I was.
I said, “15.”
He said, “You’re too young to be on a plane by yourself!”
If he only knew.
At O'Hare, I had twenty minutes to kill before I was supposed to meet two state officials in the food court, so I went to a computer terminal and logged onto Facebook. I had two accounts at the time: one for friends and one for family. I wanted to see what my family was saying.
A three-page letter from my second oldest sister was the first thing I read. She said she never wanted to see me again, that she hated me, and that if anyone asked her how many sisters she had, she’d say two instead of three. I was devastated.
Then I read a group chat between my two sisters, my mom, and my mom’s sister.
It started, “Yasmine ran away.” “What? Where?” And then someone wrote, “She’s ruining our reputation!” Not one of them wondered if I was okay.
My aunt asked if I had taken my gold. When my sister said yes, my aunt replied, “She could have gotten kidnapped or robbed!”
That was the only mention of concern for my wellbeing.
As painful as it was to read those words, it made me realize that I had made the right choice.
The people I then met in the airport food court introduced me to a woman from Illinois’ Child Protective Services, who took me under her wing. It was 11am, 24 hours after I ran for my life into the streets of Ramallah to escape my forced marriage.
I first moved in with a woman who fostered several kids, and stayed there for six months. It wasn’t ideal — she was very religious and made us go to her Baptist church with her on Saturday and Sunday. But it was still better than what I’d left. This was confirmed when I had to face my mother in court to establish that I should remain a ward of the state, which is what they call kids whose parents aren’t fit to take care of them.
The first court date was two weeks after I arrived. When I saw my mom, I froze. She was sitting in the waiting room and refused to acknowledge me. She didn’t make eye contact; it was as if I didn’t exist. I felt an awful mix of hurt and rage.
A few months later, I had to testify in a courtroom. My mom was there with her lawyer. He showed photos from my wedding and said, “You look happy! And your mom said that you wanted to be married.”
I had to explain to a room full of strangers that I was faking that smile to survive and that my mom knew the entire time that I didn’t want to marry that man. On the stand, I said, “My mom is lying.” That was so painful to have to say — I wept in front of everyone. All the feelings I’d kept inside just poured out.
After that hearing, I officially became a ward of the state of Illinois.
By then, I’d already started ninth grade. I didn’t like my foster mom much. I stopped going to church on the weekends, but she wouldn’t let me or my foster brother stay in the house alone so we were locked out until she got home every weekend and weekdays too. It was hard in the Chicago winter, but the agency didn’t think I was in immediate danger, so I stayed put. Teens are hard to place.
By January 2014, at 16-years-old, I’d been in and out of three foster homes. My strategy was just to survive foster care until I was 18, when I would finally be on my own. So when a couple called Carrie and Marvin came to meet me one weekend, I didn’t hold out any hope.
Carrie and Marvin had two biological teenagers, both with developmental delays. They understood kids and were super warm, but it still took me a while to open up. I really wanted to make it to 18 living with them, but I never dreamed what actually happened next.
When I hit my one-year anniversary with them, they asked me if I wanted to be adopted. I was shocked! I figured I’d leave at 18 and just be on my own — I never thought there was an alternative. But they told me that they wanted me around forever. I cannot tell you how good that felt — to be wanted, by an actual family. I said yes.
No more waking up at 6am to someone saying, “Pack your bags — you’re out!” For the first time in my life, I could put things up in my room and it was okay. It was the first time since being in that van with the people from the embassy that I felt safe.
I saw my mother one last time in court, at the final termination of parental rights. Carrie had asked her for childhood photos of me, and amazingly, my mom handed them to me there.
It was a cold exchange. She was expressionless. At first, I was insulted. It all seemed so easy, her giving me up. But it was really nice to get the photos. She didn’t have to do that.
Now Carrie has them around the house. It makes me feel like I’m really part of her family, like I’m her kid.
I finally reconnected on Facebook with my sister a few months ago, the one who’d said she hated me. She admitted that she wished she’d had the nerve to do what I had done. Now I understand why she was so upset: I got away. She didn’t.
I just graduated from high school — the first in my biological family to do so! In September, I’m going to Illinois State University and just learned that I won a full scholarship, which means my tuition will be waived for the next five years. I plan to study mass communications, and may want to do something with computers, considering they are literally what saved me.
Regardless of what I end up doing for a living, the thing that makes me the most excited is that I get to choose — what I want to wear, who I want to date, or even marry, and ultimately, who I want to be.
Wow.
Incredible
This is such an incredible story and hits home for so many reasons. I can’t stop crying..
Since this is starting to get quite a few notes, I’m going to signal boost some information on the subject and some organizations that do a lot of good work in this area.
Forced and child marriages are not limited to any single race, ethnicity, nationality, religion, or place of residence. The US is no exception: while forced marriages aren’t something you think of as happening in the States, there were at least 3,000 forced and underage marriages that took place in the United States between 2009 and 2011. A national survey found that forced marriage occurs among families of a variety of religious backgrounds, including individuals from Muslim, Christian, Hindu, Sikh, Buddhist, Jewish, and other faith traditions, so again, there is no singular group of people being affected by this practice. While the majority of forced marriages involve girls who are minors and older teenagers, there are a lot of women in their early and mid-20s that become victims as well; men are also victims, though in smaller numbers. One of the (many) complicating factors in the US is the presence of ‘parental consent’ marriage laws, which allow 15, 16, and 17-year-olds to get married with a parent’s consent; the problem being, of course, that the parents consent to the marriage but the child does not.
If you are facing the prospect of a forced marriage, suspect your family is trying to take you overseas to get married against your will, are in the process of being forcibly married off, are currently in a forced marriage, or have a friend who is in any of the aforementioned situations, here are some resources you can utilize:
Tahirih Justice Center’s Forced Marriage Initiative: Email fmi@tahirih.org with your story or call 571-282-6161 and ask for Casey or Dina; they run the Forced Marriage Initiative at Tahirih and are both professional caseworkers whose job completely revolves around helping people leave forced/underage marriages and preventing them from happening in the first place.
The mission of the Forced Marriage Initiative is to end forced marriage in the United States, and this is taking place in several forms: Casey and Dina’s main objective, of course, is to directly assist victims and potential victims. However, they also run a very active education, advocacy, and legal campaign. Jeanne, who also works closely with them, does a lot of public policy work on the subject and is currently working on getting the minimum age of marriage raised to 18 in every state, while Archana does a lot on the policy and legal side of things to try and minimize the numbers of forced marriages happening in the United States.
Unchained At Last: a New Jersey-based non-profit that fights against forced and child marriage in the US. Founder and CEO Fraidy Reiss is a forced marriage survivor, and has dedicated her life to helping other people (mostly women and girls) escape forced and child marriage situations. You can fill out their formor call 908-481-HOPE.
The AHA Foundation: The Foundation deals with issues relating to female genital mutilation, honor violence, and forced marriages, though they focus on advocacy and victims in Muslim communities. Here is their Get Help page and their amazing resource directory, organized by type of service and state.
Manavi: an organization founded specifically to help South Asian women escape domestic violence, sexual violence, and forced marriages. Here’s their Get Help page and the number of their 24-hour hotline:1-732-435-1414.
Girls Not Brides: A global partnership of over 900 civil organizations from 95 countries committed to ending child marriage. While the partnership itself is only a policy organization, they have a lot of good resources for finding assistance if you are a victim or prospective victim of forced/underage marriage.
The US Department of State has an entire page about the topic
If you are a US citizen or resident abroad, contact your local US embassy for assistance and they will help as much as they are able
Some articles discussing the problem in greater depth:
If you want to get involved in tackling this problem, each one of the organizations I listed above have amazing ‘Get Involved’ pages that detail several ways to help end child and forced marriage. You can also get involved by contacting local organizations focused on helping human trafficking victims (whose clients sometimes overlap with forced marriage victims), contacting your state representatives to help get marriage laws changed, and raising awareness and educating people about the issue.You can also get involved by volunteering or interning for one of the organizations: Tahirih in particular has a great internship program that I highly recommend for anyone interested.
call me the fucking ~internet police~ BUT I DIDN’T KNOW UNTIL TODAY THAT THERE’S LITERALLY A COMMUNITY OF “PEDOPHILE POSITIVITY” ON THIS HELLSITE
THERE ARE PEOPLE OPENLY ADMITTING THAT THEY ARE ATTRACTED TO CHILDREN/CONSUMING CHILD PORN ON THIS WEBSITE!?!??! THERE’S 13 YEAR OLDS ON HERE!!!
so my dudes, how to flag “maps” (minor attracted people aka pedophiles)
1. click “flag this blog”
2. click “this violates tumblr’s community guildlines”
3. click “someone is at risk of harm”
4. click “harm to minors”
5. type “pedophile” in the box
THIS IS GOOD AND ALL BUT PLEASE IF THEY HAVE ACTUAL CP PLEASE REPORT IT TO FBI TIPS,
If it’s clear they have broken laws (they post/talk about using child porn, admit to things they’ve done with minors, etc), go fill out a form here ( https://tips.fbi.gov ) to make the FBI aware and bring this filth to justice. Every single one. And if there’s no proof of criminal offense, then go on and flag them, at least then they aren’t here to prey on children on the internet.
Hi guys I recently had a run in with a pedophile who was posting child pornography, please don’t call the police there’s not a whole lot they can do in situations of tracking unlessit’s in your home state! And they don’t have a department that deals with blogs.
Instead call 1-800-843-5678 or fill out a form for cybertipline.com , they reach out within the same day and deal with these assholes all the time. They will contact you if they need more assistance or if they’ve resolved it! The police department redirected me to the hotline and will do so in every situation unless it’s local. Stay safe!
WHAT THE FUCK EW????????
REBLOG TO WRECK A PEDOPHILE
@roskiiart I think this is relevant to yesterday’s convo
You sure have seenthis post. It has spread like wildfire over the past few days so I doubt there is any artist out there who hasn’t seen it. But even if you didn’t, you should read on because I’m about to tell you a handy little thing that can help you to protect your art from such assholes as the anon who submitted this bullcrap, as well as art thieves in general.
The magic word is Metadata.
Metadata is like an invisible signature that is embeded into a file. It can contain all kinds of information, like Title, date, keywords for online seach engines, and copyright information. And the best thing is, since this information is “hidden” in the code of your picture, it’s hard to remove it.
There is a nice basic tutorial on how to add Metadata, or “additional file information” to your images in photoshop. It’s really, really easy so check it out!
I’m not sure if you can do the same with any other art program. If you know how to do this in other programs / can confirm that it works the same way there, please tell me so I can add the information to this post.
Adding the Metadata will not stop idiots from taking and reposting your art. It also won’t make them stop editing out your signature. It WILL however, help you prove that you are the original artist whenever you have to. Always remember my friends. You, the artist, are protected by law. No one has the right to take your intellectual property and hard work and repost, use or edit it without your permission. Ever.
art thief: well how can you prove its yours??
me: /opens metadata
I spread the word as it is important to all artist who ever suffered from art thieving or so.
You guys, metadata is super important, you guys. In an everday and legal sense. People legitimately look at and rely on metadata to know the basic, but important bits of information about a digital product (paintings, photographs, exe files, etc.), ESPECIALLY the source.
Re-reading the Terms of Service for Eldarya because the way Erika is written has always bugged me.
Well, now some things make more sense.
Adult my ass. Eighteen maybe? Sure…Why did I think she was more than that though? Idk.
Still, can she be a better written high school student? Yes she can.
Also, how old are the guard leaders then? Don’t tell me they’re teens as well - that makes no damn sense.
She’s at least 18, because in episode 1 she mentioned the responsabilities of adult world and going to college. But dang, high school student? How do they want to write a mature story with such a young main character?
Also, yeah, either she’s dating people much older than her or, somehow, the guard leader are all teenagers, which makes zero sense
Well then she is 18-19 at least and at most. But that’s from my own country’s point of view.
How does it work in France? I never really thought about it. Is when they say “college” a real University or just lower than that? How old are you when you’re out of High School there? How old do you have to be when you start University (in general - in my country it is 19 )?
I just realized now that…I never asked myself any of that…
In France, you’re out of High School around 17 or 18 ,depending the time of the year you were born, and if you didn’t skip/retake a year.
Then, you normally go to college/university, either living with your parents/in pensionnat/in your own flat. It’s a bit harder for those who are still 17 because they can’t have an adult credit cart yet and even if they passed the “driving exam” (idk how to said that in english), they still have to wait 18 to get their driving license.
But be can assume Erika is at least 18 since she was able to drink alcool after telling her age to Karuto (if the legal drinking age is the same as in France, and let’s hope it is or else that would mean the boys may have force-kissed a minor wich is even worse)
“You’d be surprised”, said Xaldien, who just lost four followers and received a lovely “men can’t be raped” anon shortly after reblogging this the first time.
Yowch, disgusting.
If I don’t reblog this, assume I’m dead.
Always reblog this
If you Dont reblog this if u see it then i cant call u my friend
IF ANYONE TELLS ME THAT MEN CAN’T BE VICTIMS OF DOMESTIC VIOLENCE AND RAPE, I AM SICKENED BY THEIR MERE PRESENCE ON MY BLOG.
If you disagree with me, unfollow my blog, block me and never look at my blog again.
If you want to debate about this or send anon’s about this, I will reply but your actions have consequences.
Out of 19000+ followers I have, only one of you actually reblogged about this issue, yet a lot of you have reblogged and liked a picture by playboy about catcalling and that how men should never do it.
Additionally, I have received abuse in my ask box (which I will be answering when I can) and threats. In particular death threats and rape threats.
I can see the real problem here already. Male domestic violence and rape is just invisible in our society because we don’t want to talk about this because it just damages the status quo of this fucking website.
I’m a male victim of child sexual abuse. We matter. Please, reblog this.
Please never forget male victims are real and it can happen to everyone/anyone
Make sure the romance is there on both sides people
Support our men! These victims experiences are real and valid!
